what i realized..

i think we all have the feeling that as your parents get into argument w people you think you have to protect them and fight their battles for them but you don't, i realized that i don't need to help my parents with everything argument they get into cause all it does is get's me in trouble for budding in or trying to help them. what i realized is that i have to be on medication to be happy and for me to sleep better because i'm not the little girl who fell asleep easy just from runner outside and stayed asleep i'm not the little girl who was always naturally happy and always wanting to play and be outside. what i realized is that no one gives a shit how you feel and how you don't people you think are you friends aren't they just stab you in the back like it's nothing they take their love and they run they run so far away you never see them again. what i realized is that i know what i want but no one listens and even if they do they just sit there saying they understand but they don't or just telling you what you want to hear. what i realized is that no matter how hard you try it isn't good enough nor will i think i'm good enough. what i realized is that no matter how hard we try to get rid or our insecurities there still there. what i realized is that even if they tell us don't overthink we do it anyways because we love them. what i realized is that no matter how hard it is we still find ways to self harm to make it better. what i realized is that he may be the one but will mess shit up somehow someway. what i realized is that we stop eating because of what everyone says about us and how we look and what we dress like let alone what we eat and how much we eat. what i realized is that we act like we don't care but deep down we do and you just don't realize how much we love you and how much we adore you and how much you hurt us after. what i realized is that i love you so much but that person will never know. what i realized is that i'm so tired of everything and all of this shit , life , friends , just let me stay in bed and cry that's all i do anyways. what i realized is that no matter how hard we try our parents will never believe us if they say they do they don't. what i realized is no one knows how much i hate myself.